Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Finding my way post-pregnancy

We'll I am glad pregnancy is over! 

I'm not glad about what is left in it's wake... weak muscles (from not working out), flabby tummy, and six weeks of not being able to do anything other than lift the weight of the baby. Which means no working out. My skin feels a little odd too. Almost thicker. 

But the baby that came as a result? Definitely worth it. 

I always thought that once I had a baby, all was lost. My youth, my body, my sex-appeal to Herbie. I really had felt like I'm giving up all else in return for an amazing little gem. I went into this prepared for that. I also went into it with preconceived notions of how parenting would be and life with baby. Man was I wrong. 

I went into it thinking it would be worse than what it really is. I let myself get lulled into what other mothers told me. 

"Get as much sleep now as you can, because you wont after." What was I going to do? Bottle up my extra sleep and use it when I needed it? Pointless to tell someone that. 

I also would observe what other mothers did with their kids, how they looked, how they struggled, or their general attitude about kids. Most were positive, others were realistic, and some were completely negative. 

I didn't know what to feel! So I just felt negative. Like two years of my life will be flabby and dedicated to keeping this little man alive. I don't mind the dedication, I was honestly just scared of losing myself... I was scared because I thought I was going to have the lives of those other moms and I didn't want them. I wanted my own blissful, amazing life with Herbie and our little honey. 

And you know what? My life turned out to be nothing like theirs after he was born. Surprise! I had been putting myself in their shoes dreading it. What a mistake. My experience is completely different than theirs and I don't feel the same as them about a lot of things. 

I thought I wouldn't get time to work out. Well, Herbie takes the little man so I can go on a run in the afternoon. 

I thought I wouldn't be able to get out and about and go on walks or go to the grocery store without someone touching the baby or having him scream. I don't know why, but this terrified me so much I stayed in the house for almost a month. Well, I got an ergo baby for walks, and a carseat that I can put in shopping carts and after feeding little man, he is fine and quiet when we go to the grocery store. 

The biggest lesson I have learned through this whole thing is that you learn to make it work for you, and that I should never listen to someone else's horror stories or put myself in their position. I felt helpless like I wouldn't be a good parent or know what to do on my own. You totally do, and it is never as bad as it seems.

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